Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
