I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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