47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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