What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
