Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's always time for handjobs
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
