dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
