i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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