the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
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Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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