im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize