U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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