Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
