If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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