the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
