some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
bring money and cleavage
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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