I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
