Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
