Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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