Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize