I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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