It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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