is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Drake has all the answers
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
