no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
