She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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