let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
