Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
