I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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