We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize