Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
