So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
