Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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