Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
