I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
