3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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