No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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