I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
