I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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