hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
