handjob tips. give me some.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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