you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
