is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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