but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
