we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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