I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Randomize
