it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we should paint friendship bongs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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