Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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