I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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