You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
