She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
