hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
