Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
