Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize