i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
