We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
