I'm so fucking centered right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
