do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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