so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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