Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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