does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
NoShamevember. You game?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
