last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
