UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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