Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize