He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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